When I was little, all I wanted was to feel free. To feel like I could go anywhere and do anything I wished. I could not wait to be an adult, to make my own decisions, to just grow up already. Adult life full of freedom seemed so dream-like, as if it was an answer to the pain of human existence itself which I understood as a lack of autonomy at a respectable age of 13.
So, here I am: a 29 year old woman with a full time job and some side hustles, who moved abroad as soon as she could in pursuit of the independent utopian life. Yet, looking at it today, that lack of autonomy is still present, just in a different, more subtle way. Yes, I can make decisions on my own, or go anywhere I choose. I can say I have grown up and can build my life the way I want to.
However, confinements still exist: to be able to live, we need money. To earn money, we need to work and invest. And in our limited spare time, other obligations arise such as chores, running errands, paying bills, vet trips, and the list just goes on. Having been in adulthood for over a decade, I have often gotten overwhelmed with all the responsibilities. Secretly, I have envisioned a future where I can still do as I please whenever I please. Does that mean I am now waiting on retirement?
As Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Western civilization places so much emphasis on the idea of hope that we sacrifice the present moment. Hope is for the future. It cannot help us discover joy, peace, or enlightenment in the present moment.”
I find myself hoping for the future, yet I forget that on this very day I am living a life I have once dreamed of. I live abroad in a beautiful place, I am pursuing my dreams, I have peace of mind most of the time and live an overall privileged life. The world around us can always be better, especially after reading the news, but that should not keep us from finding joy in the present. It is important to strive for our goals and to be of service to others, but that shouldn’t keep us from appreciating what we already have.
Waiting for those days off to come quicker, waiting for retirement so we can do what we want, for the kids to grow up to pursue our dreams, or even for that holiday six months from now so we can finally recover from burnout. Waiting will only make us stay in the future. Sure, having something to look forward to can be nice, but continuously finding ourselves in a state of expectation is not helpful.
So, what can you do today to make your life (or even just your evening) a little better? Life is to be enjoyed in the little things: maybe finally go to that restaurant you wanted to visit for a long time, talk to a loved one, cuddle your pet, or light your favourite scented candle. Whatever it is, it does not have to be a shocking move, like booking plane tickets for Costa Rica that leave tomorrow or quitting your day job next week.
Remember, we are currently living through the blessings we were once praying for. It is time we enjoy said blessings with a heart full of gratitude instead of focusing on what we lack. Tomorrow is not promised, and there will always be improvements to be made.
Happiness is not in the next place, in the next job, or in the next chapter. Until we surrender the idea that joy is to be found elsewhere, we will not find it. So, let’s meet ourselves where we are in the present moment.
